why do i even have a blog..

I never write in this thing anymore! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH ME!

Ahhh so it's been over a month. In the last month a few things have happened. We are in the basement and we are cohabiting peacefully and happily. It's small, but it's cozy, and we get to eat my mother's cooking every day. This is the life. And I'm bigger, obviously. I am now so big that putting my socks on is the most challenging part of the day and the stairs exhaust the hell out of me.
I haven't bitten my nails in over a month! This is such a big deal, you don't even know. I have purchased like 6 tubes of nail polish since I gave up the nasty habit and I love my new ability to peel clementines. I've eaten hundreds.

Christmas was wonderful. It was truly Christmas this year, instead of just one loaded disappointment. I did the whole gingerbread house thing with my nephew, and watched festive movies with Mike and enjoyed our time together. I loved shopping for his Christmas gifts more than I loved getting gifts myself (this is new!) and I spent it sober and full of life, with the people that I love. Mom and Dad had a bit of a party on Christmas eve. Mike and I hung out in the garage with everybody for much of the night. But he also surprised me with a Christmas eve marriage proposal, and a beautiful diamond ring...
I have had different opinions on marriage throughout the years. I have both wanted to get married and have laughed at the very idea. I want to marry Mike. I'm not saying that I need a piece of paper to validate our relationship or any of that shit. It's a lot more than that. I want to really share our lives together. Have the same last name. Know that we both got married because we both want to spend our lives together, and not have to question that. I want all the people I love to be with us and watch us make vows to each other and I want to have a family. Mike deserves nothing less and I want him to know that there is no one else I'd rather be with for my entire life.
Sappy stuff!!
Ahem. anyway. I don't have much to write about today but I figured I would break the silence. Promise to write again soon.