faults

Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me— no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make. - Michael Scott (The Office)

Today when I was at the hairdresser's I said the F word... she asked if I liked the colour and I said "fuck yeah!". I do this all the time. I don't even mean to have this filthy mouth, I just have it, and I have a really hard time thinking before I speak. Fuck yeah. That got me thinking about my flaws. So here we go, out with 'em:

- I've been biting my nails for as long as I can remember. Quite literally. I have given up on stopping, but for years I really put in some solid effort. I got acrylics all the time (but I couldn't justify the money I was wasting on them, and they broke, which hurt, and they look like shit after like 3 days!). Now I just consider it a winning day if I manage to just not bite them in public.

- I can't go into any store (ANY STORE IN THE WORLD!) with a substantial amount of money because I will spend almost all of it. So I don't carry my debit card on me, or any cash, unless I have a necessary purchase to make. Most of the time, when I come home after a money-wasting excursion, I wonder what the hell is wrong with me and why I wasted hundreds of dollars on all that crap, and never look at it again. Oh, I also never return the crap. I don't ever return things. I've purchased a lot of clothes that have ended up not fitting, but I just never return them or exchange them. The way I see it, doing that would be much easier if I drove. But I don't, so in the closet they stay. Forever. Oh, I'm also terrible when it comes to keeping the closet clean and organized.

- I don't go grocery shopping often (a fault in and of itself), but when I do, I eat almost everything I buy the day that I buy it. I have this unreasonable paranoia about food going bad. So I stuff it all down my face before it ever gets the chance. Whatever I don't eat immediately stays in the freezer indefinitely. It's crazy behaviour.

- I have a steady collection of half-drank glasses of water beside my bed, perpetually.

- I have absolutely no follow-through. This is true when it comes to saving money, pursuits in education, jobs, promises I make to friends, everything. I cannot be counted on to finish any task I start. I have, like, 8 canvases with half-completed paintings on them stacked beside my couch as we speak, for instance.

- I lie about being good at trivial things in order to impress people I have no business wanting to impress. Like, a lot of people think I'm good at scrabble because I have always said that I am. In reality, I am a really shitty scrabble player.

- I drink until I black out and break something. Most notably being my FACE. I still have a scar on my cheek...

- I crack my knuckles.

I succumb to virtually every temptation I face. If I have a craving for a caramel sundae, for example, me and mike will invariably be out hunting for caramel sundaes in no time. We got Breakfast because we were at a pet store and I fell in love with him. There was no sleeping on it. I cut off 2 feet of hair and got a pixie cut 4 hours after the idea first came to me.

I wish everyone wrote out lists of their flaws. I feel better after writing mine and I would most certainly feel great after reading someone else's!