fuck the self pity.

So I woke up this morning and I was pretty tempted to slip into self-pity mode once more.  I need a haircut and I can't afford one.  I remembered last summer when I would go grocery shopping all the time, and carry my groceries home, and how I haven't been able to afford that in moooooonths.  But fuck it.  I quickly realized that I have been doing, and will continue to do, everything I can in order to better my situation financially.  So I won't be going to burning man in all likelihood, fine.  I will just have to go on a different vacation when it's feasible for me.  I still plan on going to Eastern Europe next summer.  

All of the things I ought to be grateful for flooded my mind (and it's about time, really).  I have a job, and I have been making end's meet.  A lot of people don't, and aren't.  It's a sign of the times, I guess.  My heart is safe with a man that I love.  We are going to get married and make babies, when the time is right.  My family is safe and close by.  I am healthier than I have ever been since I quit smoking.  

So I have to stop this self-depricating nonsense.  So today I will just have to make a new resume, geared towards something other than bartending (since I am having no luck with that avenue).  I will clean the apartment a little.  I will read this awesome book (World Without End, by Ken Follett, God he's a great writer).

Okay, cool, I just wrote myself into a better mood.  Sweet.

I have this mat in the kitchen )people have those, thought I'd grab one too) and Breakfast continually drags it into the livingroom area.  the kitchen mat just doesn't stay where it should, and I'm always putting it back, just to see it in the livingroom 5 minutes later.  Repeat process.  It never ends.

I fucking love that little Breakfast guy.