everything that is frustrating me and how i am choosing to deal with it, part I.

I am angry that I don't know how to get limewire on my macbook. I need it to download music. So I can put said music on my ipod. My 200 dollar ipod that I cannot use, because I don't know how to use the 1400 dollar computer. When I think about this it almost makes me throw this laptop out the fucking window and grab a neighbourhood child and tear his throat out with my teeth. Instead I shake uncontrollably while trying not to cry.

I am irritated that my mother thinks limewire is the devil and will not let me use it on her computer (the one i know how to use) and is thus very much contributing to my hatred of the apple corporation right now. Hatred of all technology. I hate technology.

I am pissed off at Mike because he has been facebook creeping some really pretty girl named Tina Gray and he thinks I don't see this in my history files. Normally this would not bother me, except that I am very hormonal and feeling very fat and ugly as of late. I want to cut off his head right now.

Also pissed off that he is gone for the day in Brantford, getting away from me, while I lose my ever loving mind here in this basement all alone. He should be here suffering too. Fucker.

I need a new prescription, some new combination of antidepressants and I have needed this for moooonths. I am incredibly unhappy and I need some sort of chemical to alter this. My fucking doctor needs to get back to me before I jump in front of a goddamn train.

I found a stretch mark. 'Nuff said.

So I am sitting here in absolute silence, on the ugliest and most uncomfortable love seat in the world, hardly blinking and just letting it out and onto blogger. After this I am going to go to bed and cry until I fall asleep and try not to wake up for as long as possible.