1. You're not fooling anybody. You and I both know that that half a dozen donuts for breakfast is going to go straight to your ass. Do everyone a favor and pick up a spoon and that well-intentioned tub of yogurt in the fridge that you have yet to touch.
2. Your hair is your hair and you're stuck with it. Take a second, mull it over....
okay, now get over it.
3. Would it kill you to get a little exercise? I know you've noticed that back fat. Yeah, I said it.
4. Is there a lot of pay off in letting the garbage sit there, and sit there, and sit there, until Mike is over and he decides the smell is just too much and takes it out himself? Take the garbage out before it gets to this point, please. I know what you're thinking. Just try it.
5. Breakfast may shit 6 times a day, but he doesn't deserve to live amongst it. Clean out his cage, every day. What kind of mother are you hoping to make?
6. You're going to be 23 in a couple of months. Of course making that pouty face and saying Daddy? isn't going to have the same effect it once had....
7. Nobody cares if you like Jazz music or not, so stop pretending.
8. Stop complaining about your job and write up a new resume! There's a novel idea! ...Bonehead.
9. Get some sun, you look like shit.
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