mondays.

I don't have 2 dimes to rub together.

I don't even want to answer my phone and explain this to anybody. i just want to keep the ringer turned off, in order to avoid the bill collectors and expectant friends...
'Cuz I have no money whatsoever.
I'm not going to sit here and complain about it for an entire post, I'm just kinda lettin' everyone know. I am a broke mother fucker.

What do people who are broke usually do with their time? Well, in my case, a lot of reading (I finished my novel and now I'm a little upset because I have nothing else to read). They watch Canada's Worst Handyman. They persist in trying to litter train their ferret. They try to wrap their legs around their head (pretty close), they invent interesting dishes (like peanut butter and banana hot dogs). They make lists of the things they will do when they do have money once again (visit Deja Vu, go to Fran's to watch all the Rocky Movies, get pished with Rob, go to Value Village, etc). And they clean their apartments. Super-clean!

That's what I did yesterday. I super-cleaned. Allow me to paint a picture for you. When I am getting dressed, I often try on a number of items prior to committing to one outfit. The rejected items are strewn about everywhere. Breakfast often drags some of these items into his little caves under the dressers, never to be seen again. Freshly washed laundry gets stuffed into drawers and cupboards where they proceed to wrinkle to shit and never get worn again until I re-wash them. Sometimes, dirty stuff makes it back into the dressers. I don't know how. The bathroom. I never did get around to putting a trash can in there. So empty toilet paper rolls and tampon dispensers just gather together and sit. For ever. The toilet started growing things. I hate cleaning the toilet. The sink was alright but covered in soap scum. There was ferret shit in the corner. It was disgusting. So disgusting I am truly ashamed to say that I pee there several times a day. It is where my toothbrush lives. *shudder*
The livingroom is where the ferret lives, so it smells, and it is also where filthy dishes congregate and grow things amongst themselves. The kitchen is full of ferret food, ferret poop, and dirty dishes and smelly green bins and the garbage and recycling I refuse to take out.
I have never really admitted to anybody how much of a pig I secretly am. But there it is.
Anyway, I got Mike to pick me up some pine sol and windex and yesterday I went clean-crazy for 3 and a half hours.
So what do broke people do today? This one just looks around all day long, impressed with her handy work.