T

I can't get enough sleep.
Yesterday was pretty rough. At work. And after work kind of sucked too because I hung out with Aidan, my at-work husband, so to speak, and I fell asleep and he heard me snoring and has proceeded to ruin my life. Not really, but.. yeah kinda. Sawing lawgs. LAWLS. Whatever.
I'm worried about my "little sister". I wish I could tell her I know about her blog, and I read it all the time, and so I know all of her secrets. But I can't because it is the only way I can still keep tabs on her from a distance. She doesn't tell me shit. She should - I've been in every one of those positions once in my life. She knows all of my secrets. I don't get to know hers.
Anyway, T: If you ever find my blog and start to read it and come across this post, there are a few things I would like to share with you from my experiences.

1. You will be attracted to lots of inappropriate guys. I know I have been. And I've ended up screwing a couple of them because I was curious and they called me pretty. But let me tell you something: I regretted it every single time and every single time things were never the same with that person. It would have been so nice to have just wanted each other but never had each other. All romance is unfinished business.
2. Shrooms aren't cool. They make you shit yourself. Trust.
3. You prom date was gay. You may not know it, he certainly doesn't know it yet, but he is. As gay as they come. I hope you didn't fuck that guy.
4. Trashy girls let men give them hickeys. Only trashy girls.
5. There is a way to dress for your body shape. You feel like you're a little heavy. Okay. What makes you think wearing oversized sweaters every day is making you look better? Let me take you shopping some time. I can help you.
6. Our parents love you. And you're not fooling them. Show them who you really are and they will still love you.
7. Stop stealing my shit when you come over. That's why I've been blowing you off the last few weeks. Do you know how frustrating it is to not have your tweezers around when you decide you need to tweeze your eyebrows? I bet you don't!!
8. I'm your friend, too. And I would never call you a slut. Those girls aren't your friends at all. Don't be so silly.