mo' money, less problems..

I'm going to have to cancel my internet...
I think about Adam and how he upgraded my internet to this fucking expensive package, never paid a dime on it ever, and now I'm stuck with it, and I just want to stomp on his little bald head until it explodes.
I would cancel my cable too, if Mike didn't rely on it the way some people rely on iron lungs.
For obvious reasons, I will not be canceling my phone.
This should lower my expenses by a whopping 50 dollars a month. And when I want to use the internet I can just go to Pams, because I'm there all the time anyway. Or even work. We have wireless at work.
Anyway it just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to be paying what I am paying for internet when I use it maybe a total of 40 minutes a day, tops.
I think I've made a very mature decision here! In the past, I would have normally kept it all and just not paid my bills, and then everything would just be cut off at some point and that'd be it. But my credit is bad enough. And I want to fix that someday because nobody is ever going to want to marry me with my credit the way it is.
I don't even know if I want to get married anyway, I'm just saying.
They hired a new bartender at work yesterday. They will never give me the chance. So I barged into the office yesterday, in tears, and told my boss off and called him a liar. He just gave me a weird look and said we know you want to be a bartender because you harp on about it every day. you'll get your turn if you work hard and be patient but you know what I think? Fuck that. I need to find something else to do with my life. Bars have been ruining my life for years anyway. Although I'm much happier doing this than walking those disgusting mongrels any day of the week.... anyway, yeah. Gotta find something else to do. Gonna have to lie on my resume. Who's it hurting?
Also need to stop drinking so much. I've spent a shameful amount of money on alcohol in the last week. :o!! That is deplorable. Maybe this is why I can't pay my goddamn bills.
My dosage of antidepressants has been doubled. That's something.
I haven't painted since, I'd say, November. This has got to change. I miss painting. I can't afford it though with this stupid internet package and my stupid alcohol problem... just kidding.
I hope Mike gets off work early today because of the weather, I will offer to buy us sundaes at stoney creek dairy. I think we both deserve it.