tick tock..

I'm not quite sure how I feel about being as predictable and unexciting as I am.
I guess I feel okay about it...
I just wish I had something up my sleeve, you know? Something that would make people jealous, and make people wish they were in my shoes. But that never happens with me because one day leads to the next and to the next and nothing really ever changes. The only thing that marks the passing of another day is a couple of anti-depressants down the hatch and another penniless shift at a thankless job that I despise.
I wish I were going to Burning Man.
Or anywhere, anywhere at all.

Sometimes I'm like dude, lindsay, shut the fuck up. why do you always have to feel slighted in some way? why does everything in the entire world have to revolve around you and your stupid inferiority complex?
Well, self, because me is the only thing i know, and if me isn't happy, then what the fuck am i even bothering getting out of bed for?
And then I say to myself get a grip. it's called life. fuck. stay out of chapters and maybe you'll actually have something to show for yourself.
and then i tell myself to fuck off and i eat a pint of haagen dazs. or however you spell it. whatevskies.

Anyway, in the spirit of positivity I have decided to just make the best of it! So I'm not very exciting, so every day is basically like the last, so what if I'm too broke for vacations and too much in debt to go back to school and too flighty to even stay in school if i managed to go back? I've got love, man. I've got love for myself and love for my fellow man. SO MUCH LOVE in fact, that I get confused by anger. I look at an angry person the way a sane person looks at a lunatic. That's good, I'd rather be that than some angry douchebag. Better to be sad, I say, than to be a miserable prick who hates everybody and blames everybody else for their problems. 'Least I've got the good sense to blame myself.
So I'm going to go through this day as I would go through any other day, except today I will go through it with the knowledge that I am the coolest fucking person I know and I don't need any other validation than my own two fucking eyes and I don't caaaaaare if this person is off doing that thing or this person has more friends than me or whatever, because I have no use for that shit anyway and dammit, I've always appreciated a good book and boats give me motion sickness. C'est la vie! I'll get mine, bitches. PEA-SOUT!