birds of a feather

I thought it might be fun to post tidbits from an IM conversation I had this morning with my bestie. So here it goes.

Lindsay: I'm failing miserably at being a vegetarian...
Fran: hahahahahaha, why the fuck would you want to be one of those? you love meat!
Lindsay: I do, its true. I don't know. to be cool?
Fran: I can see how you would think that makes you cool but it doesn't. being cool is being able to eat a nice big steak and not cry about it.
(talking about Fran's interview at the pretzel place...)
Lindsay: I would like to work at a pretzel place so hook it up. I'm over the lawyer. They don't appreciate me. They won't let me bartend and they will never promote me to manager.
Fran: Yeah man, fuck them. She told you she would make you bartender ASAP and she still hasn't? Screw them.
Lindsay: I want to make a scene and walk out on them out of the blue SO BADLY! But I can't. Adult responsibilities pfft...
Fran: Oh man we would have so much fun making pretzels together! That's what I'm gonna do to chris once i get a new job.
Lindsay: haha, we're birds of a feather..
Fran: I want him to come downstairs and be all like 'stop socializing with jesse' 'cause he always gets pissy when jesse and i talk for 2 seconds, and then i'm gonna be like SOCIALIZE THIS and do the suck it sign and storm out.
Lindsay: Oh yeah, the suck it sign. That'll show him That'll show him good.
(so on and so forth)

So anyway that besically sums up the morning for me. I am failing at vegetarianism (but still not given up!)... oh I didn't mention that I missed my pap smear appointment this morning because I set my alarm clock wrong and I don't have a phone so my mom couldn't call and yell at me, or pick me up, or anything.
Now I don't know if I have cervical cancer. Or chlamydia. hmm.. I think I'm safe though. Pap smears are just awful. Horrible. Nobody should have to go through that kind of ordeal. Especially with a doctor like mine, who insists on making idle chit chat about regular every day things while he points a lamp at your cha-cha and inserts metal clamps and climbs in up to his elbows.

So yesterday at work, as I was getting ready to leave for the day, Alex strolls on in. My 'sister' T has been kind of dating him for a couple weeks now, despite how opposed to the whole thing I am. So anyway, Alex strolls in and as soon as I see him my mouth drops to the floor and I smack him in the face.
Does he not have vicious bruises all over his neck? Bruises that resemble something a ware wolf might have inflicted on him? Bruises that say to me wow, tanya, you really do want to ruin my life don't you? And everyone else at work notices the bruises and then the taunting starts. Everyone knows she and Alex are screwing. Which is so not awesome, if you ask me. They all start in with all these variations of "mom fucking" jokes, but instead are "sister/cousin fucking" jokes and Alex is wearing these hickeys like a badge of honour. I'm disgusted with the both of them. T: If you're reading this: If you ever do that again I will tell Alex you have Syphilis and I will make sure he dumps you himself. Date him if you must, but for FUCKS SAKE! A little descretion would be nice. You friggin' idiot...

Today promises to be a terrible day, because Green Day is playing at the coliseum around the corner from work, which means the restaurant is going to be PACKED and I am going to hate my life for 4 or 5 hours solid. Not to mention this: does anyone like green day anymore? Does anyone like green day fans? I think people who still like green day are losers. There. I said it. Hate me if you must. But how long can they really ride this "americans who hate america but refuse to move to canada where things are, like, so much better' wave they've been on since I was 16?
Rant = over.