waking up

I'm having trouble falling back to sleep. It is after 4:30 in the morning.
I think too much when I'm trying to sleep. I think too much all the time, but especially when I'm trying to fall asleep.
For some reason, I feel as if there is a really big change happening, and I'm not sure if I am ready for it or not.
Mike took me out for dinner tonight and bought me flowers, and he asked me if maybe I might want to move in with him?
Do I want to?
I have made myself promises in the past, when other relationships haven't worked out. I have promised myself I would not live with another man until I am engaged to marry him... (do I want to get married?) And I have considered my bit of a double life and I have trouble choosing sides. But I know what is right and I know who I want to be. Do I have to be the person I am becoming?

Life is just a bunch of choices and in order to be an adult, one must begin by making some decisions they may not want to make. For instance, whether it is a better idea to go out and party for 3 nights solid or if it may be smarter to save some money, rent some movies and spend time with family and friends. Friends who do not drink in excess.
I don't even have any of those.
Point is, I really feel like there is a magnificent change afoot. I can't really tell you what that is yet, because I don't even know. But I do know I only have a little window of time to correct everything I have done wrong, and I fully intend on doing so. For the change.

Now how am I going to fall back asleep?