here goes...

Dear _____,

I know we haven't met yet, and we won't for a long time still. But I feel like I know you a little bit already. I know you're probably a little nervous about the fact that they put me in charge of you, but I am going to set a few things straight right now, and maybe then you'll feel a little better.

- I will always be there, whether you like it or not.
- You will have to listen to me, because I know best (or do I? Doesn't matter, you have to listen anyway)
- I will probably yell a lot, but don't worry, I also laugh a lot.
- I won't let you see me cry.
- I will always sing "no matter what" by badfinger to you.
- You will love all the things I plan on painting for you.
- I also plan on eating a lot better while you're with me, and after you're not.
- I will learn to cook for you. You'll get used to it eventually. And then you'll try my mother's food and beg to live with her. And then I will do that yelling thing.
- I promise I won't blame you for the irreversible damage that your passage will do to my body. At least not to your face, anyway.
- I will help you with your homework! Not math though. But your dad can help you with math because he can do it. I can not.
- I will make your stability and health the number one priority in my life, for the rest of my life.
- I WILL make you wear things that you hate, and I will make you get haircuts that make you look lame.
- Just so that we're clear, you will be taking cello lessons. Your refusal will result in indefinite allowance suspension.
- I will try my best to make sure you know that I love you more than anything, every day.
- I will try not to set my expectations ridiculously high.. but please take those cello lessons k?
- I won't kill you if you get a tattoo. But I will laugh if it looks stupid.
- I will be as patient as possible.
- I will always listen to you, and I will answer all of your questions.
- I will always be your mom, and I will always consider it an honour.