Maria Prince Golightly?

I was catching up with one of my favourite blogs the other day, and her post really intrigued me.
It got me thinking about the woman that I have always wished I could be. First of all, I think a Maria Elena/Polly Prince/Holly Golightly hybrid would make quite the gal.


Anyway, if I could re-invent myself, I would like to be:
- the kind of woman who can wear anything and oooooze confidence
- the kind of woman who wears red lipstick
- the kind of woman whose purse is always tidy
- the kind of woman with a lot of girl friends
- the kind of woman listens to classical music during the week and punk rock on the weekends
- the kind of woman who gardens
- the kind of woman who can walk in giant heels
- the kind of woman who never weighs more than 115 pounds.
- the kind of woman whose apartment is always spotless
- the kind of woman you have never seen crying
- the kind of woman who is unshakably content
- the kind of woman who wears chanel perfume
- the kind of woman who jogs every morning, even in the rain
- the kind of woman who isn't afraid to travel the world on her own
- the kind of woman who enjoys school, and doesn't drop out.
- the kind of woman who gets promoted
- the kind of woman who is mature and responsible
- the kind of woman who goes to yoga and eats kashi bars
- the kind of woman who can actually stick to a vegan diet.
- the kind of woman who can pull of sexy, long, unruly hair






But alas.

I am a woman who, when feeling insecure about her weight, just doesn't eat for a few days (and then gorges). I buy all kinds of lipstick and never wear any of it. I still smoke when I'm drunk, and I get drunk way too many times. I hate my job, I'm on anti-depressants and I cannot hide my feelings from the world. I'm the kind of woman who wears 3-year-old panties and washes her hair with cheap shampoo and conditioner. I hate cats, kill plants and can't pay my bills on time. I wear a lot of summer dresses and I only own a few pairs of shoes. I think about getting up and going for a jog but then disregard the idea and sleep in way too late. My apartment is always a mess and it smells like ferret poop at my front door. I let the things people say or do to me ruin my day, week, or year. I buy cute vintage outfits but am never confident enough to wear them out. I have a bad habit of running to mac's milk in the middle of the night for honey buns and jamaican patties. I come up with all kinds of great ideas but never follow through. I have been meaning to update my resume for weeks, but I've been too busy blogging. I can't save enough money to go to the art store so I can paint again (it's been moooonthsssss). I am the kind of woman who is still in her pajamas at 20 to 3 in the afternoon.

Sigh.